The Struggle is Real.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:1-4

Let me be honest; I struggle with jealousy. Today I let that sin get the better of me; I allowed it to creep into my heart and corrupt everything I touched. I have never been a wealthy man, let me clarify, I have never been financially prosperous. But I'm not poor either, I have food on the table, I can pay rent and all my bills, and after my tithe, I can sometimes save a little as well. We are doing better than most; we are blessed! 

My jealousy stems from wanting more, Ashley and I sat down and did our budget yesterday, and we have just enough coming in to cover all our needs. We are left with 82 cents at the end of every month. Instead of looking at that as God, you are faithful and true to your word to take care of us. I sat down and said, how will we ever be able to buy a house? Today that same thought ate away at me; I started looking at what others have. I was comparing how mine and Ashley's salaries combined are less then what I was making working in a church. 

I'm saying all this, first to confess and second, because I know that I'm not the only one who struggles with jealousy or lusting after what others have. This is a peek into some of my struggles and how I overcome them through the power of Jesus Christ. As I write this, I would be lying if I said I wasn't still struggling or discouraged. But what I know is more powerful then my feelings at this moment, I know that God is good, and I am blessed just knowing that I am His son. 

The sin of lusting after what you don't have comes from the garden, Adam and Eve wanted to know what God knew. They ultimately lusted after His knowledge (Gen 3:4-5). That same lust has brought nations to crumble, and good men to fall, and we can easily let it consume us. The question I have been asking is, why does it affect me so much? I am a Christian, and I should know better, I should not fall into this petty sin. Yet I fall into it more then I like to admit.

I was playing a round of Disc Golf with someone the other day, and we were talking on how we all make mistakes in life, some let those mistakes define them negatively, others take those mistakes and grow from them. I walked away thinking that like sin, we can allow it to weigh us down, or we can allow God to mould us through it. We can let it consume or cripple us, or we can seek freedom and life. The beautiful thing is, it doesn't matter how often you fall off the bike, just as long as you get up and try again. I know, The bike analogy has some holes in it, but it rings true. God doesn't want to see us fall; just like any parent, we don't like seeing our kids hurt themselves. God wants us to pursue life, and if we can get back up to rejoin the race, God is there cheering us on in our corner. It's not about the fall; it's about how God can redeem it, how can we turn it around and say, Father, thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me, thank you for keeping your word even when I didn't keep mine, thank you for loving me even when I rejected you, thank you for saving me even before I knew I needed saving. 

God's truths are evident, and we need to apply them to our hearts so that in those moments, when we stumble, we can get back up and keep going. I have learned that If I genuinely believe that God is who He says he is in the bible, then it doesn't matter what I go through in life I will rest well knowing that God is true. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack NOTHING! If I look back at my Christian life, I can't think of one moment when I lacked. There were lots of things that I wanted in life, but I never lacked. In that, I can honestly say God is good, and He is faithful to his word. (1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 6:25-34, Isaiah 41:10, Phil 4:19)